Here you will find the answers to life’s most pressing questions about The Donald. Come back often for more answers.
Why does The Donald prefer to live at Mar-a-Lago?
Because he hates The House.
Why does The Donald float in the Mar-a-Lago pool on his back?
Because he doesn’t want to get that red tie wet.
What did Mitch McConnell say when he saw The Donald coming down the hall wearing dark glasses?
Nothing. McConnell didn’t recognize him.
Why is The Donald’s face colored orange?
So nobody will mistake him for an eggplant.
More critical issues solved tomorrow
What People Say
Trump’s defense boils down to this: Sure, the President did it. We all know he did it…he is allowed to do whatever he wants. Get over it….
Adam Schiff, Twitter
Royal lunacy is traditionally a secret, but in Twitter-age America it’s a shared national experience. We are all somersaulting down and out the sanity chute. The astonishing thing about Trump is that he wasn’t foisted on us by a council of Bourbons, or by succession law. We elected the man, and are poised to do it again.
Trump’s abuses provide deep evidence that he is (1) a serial, chronic, daily liar on matters of state, (2) a serial sexual predator, (3) a racist bigot, as demonstrated by his programs and policies, and (4) one who incites violence at rallies and in his tweets.