Sex and Syllabification. Conjugal Consonants. And more!

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NRT Adjutant General back from Kindergarten War Zone Set for appearance on Sat Nite Live. Congress Passes Key Bill Airport Passenger Phonemic Awareness Test Fox News lobbies for hardship exclusion. Classroom Bomb Threat a Hoax Toledo, Ohio. Police blew up a brown paper bag which was found to contain bologna, not embedded modifiers. Agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Umlauts were on the scene. Clarence Thomas Honored Minority Sentence-Diagrammer-of-the-Year Award Cruise/Cruz sign for Spielberg’s first phonics ballet:   Differential cryptanalysis of the CR Blend set for early 2023 release Bickering Stalls Schwa Stimulus Package Partisan controversy swirling around the President’s plan threatens national security. Calls for National Guard lesson-monitoring. Special Report NRT special counsel warns: extended blends resistance cells proliferating.  60 Minutes Special NEW! National Reading Tribunal announces new improved, updated, essential, and constituitive RESEARCH REPORTS * Phonics Choice and Charter Schools. (06/01/22) *On the Horizon: Pre-Natal Phonics Acquisition (06/02/22) *Why the President Should Sign a Free Phonics Agreement with Uruguay (06/03/22) *The 783rd Yearbook of the National Society for the Preservation of Phonics (06/04/22) *The Effects of Phonemic Instruction on Pre-Schoolers who Own Turtles: A Model-based Meta-analysis (06/5/22) *The Effects of Phonemic Instruction on Pre-Schoolers Who Eat Dill Pickles: Skills Integration Training (06/06/22) *The Effects of Computer-mediated Phonics on the Acne Severity of Middle-Schoolers (06/07/22) *The Effects of Phonemic Intervention on At-Risk Youth with an Aversion to Eggplant (06/08/22) *Phonics and its Correlates in the Real World: The Singapore Story (06/09/22)

Phonics Prayer of the Day phonicsprayer@mumbojumbo [paid advertisement] Phonemic Awareness NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH Taking on Terror Only YOU can keep our communities safe. Live at 9. phonicsphonics@mumbojumbo Shakespeare’s Schwas Thomas B. Fordham Institute Special Report. Streaming video. Ted Cruz: Why I’ll Pick Up a Gun for Phonics Ron DeSantis: Why I Pack an Assault Rifle for Phonics 7 Danger Signs of Phonics Deficiency and What You Can Do About It [paid advertisement] PLANET PHONICS Discussion Forum: Get 15 hours a week of live streaming video Must be 18 to participate. planetphonics@mumbojumbo McPhonics Learning Cente GRAND OPENING Free blends for all. Subscribe to The New York Times for Critical New Series: *Speak Up for Schwas * Phonics Competition Leaves No Child Behind *One Last Chance on Phonics Reform *Professorial Terrorism: Stifling Vowel Digraphs on Campus *The Case for Phonics Vouchers *The Phonics Crisis: How Teachers Leave Poor Children to Fall Behind *What makes an Economy Grow? PHONICS. *Special report. Approximately 80% of the human race lives in phonics poverty. Roughly one billion live on fewer than five short vowels a day. According to Dana Goldstein and Donald Trump Jr , co-authors of new study, the good news is that the path to scientific relief is clear. Partisan Bickering Schwa Compromise fails in the senate. Will the parties pay a political price? A scholar from the American Enterprise Institute reacts. Live at 6. Speak Up! Should every high school graduate be required to demonstrate homograph proficiency? Meet one Fortune 500 executive who says Yes! Live at 7.     UP CLOSE & PERSONAL Chicago family without access to 16 rules for syllabification hit hard. Hear their painful story. Live at 8. Don’t Miss the Next Page

U.S. Ranks 83rd in Consonant Blends “The family that sounds out together, stays together,” Mitch McConnell advises at Phonemic Awareness Congressional Breakfast. “The family that sounds out together stays together” advises Senate chaplain. JUST RELEASED! Index of Phonemics Freedom.  Daughters of American Dipthongs “No home should be without it.” Vowel Voice Stay informed! Daily e-mail updates. Send us your questions. vowelvoice@nytimes   Consonant Crisis If you think the university education departments are cleaning up the mess, think again. Special guest: honorary chair of NY Times Consonant Task Force Sunday at 11   Phonics First Dr. Oz takes on secularists and feminists whose aim is to bring down Phonics First. Today at 2. Autographed Copy of 10 Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Short Vowels 12 steps to Phonics Renewal Enroll now and receive free 17-blade blender and Lucy Collins plan, all versions.  Has phonics deficiency ruined your sex life? Help is just an e-mail away. Enroll now. Payment deferred for 23 days sexyschwas@mumbojumbo PHONICS FIRST 2022: What?s Happening to States Rights Initiatives? Comprehensive state-by-state analysis shows that phonics first gets results. CHECK YOUR STATE Pearson Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Amendment to the Elementary and Secondary Education Act Office of Management and Budget (OMB) predicting phonics deficits until at least fiscal year 2036, delay spells catastrophe. Download Report. CONTACT YOUR SENATOR PBS Spotlight Phonics Give Lemuel a Chance: Six Families and Their Silent E Experience Jerry Springer Reruns Mon. Attack of the Phonics Wreckers! Tues. Mom & 6 daughters swapped vowels with same 63-year-old lover!! Wed. Phonics Tattoos: Fantastic Body Art!!! Thurs. “I Faked 120 Phonics Acts?To Keep Hubby Happy.” Fri. Bi-phonics Revealed!!!! Oprah Does Phonics Mon: What You Need to Know About Phonics Abuse Tues: Phonics Book Club News Wed: Confessions of a Recovering Umlaut Avoider Thurs: Spotlight: Phonics Freedom Scholarship Winners Fri: Complete Phonics Makeover for a new you

Think About Who Is Always Missing from Such Deliberations

On Venturing to Important Places

Let us remember Myra Cohn Livingston’s New York Times 1,500-word exultation over Shel Silverstein’s work, March 9, 1986, when Silverstein’s A Light in the Attic had been on the Times best seller list (of books for adults) for three years.

Livingston observed that in 1974 Silverstein offered children the prospect of venturing to the place Where the Sidewalk Ends, the invitation to defy danger signs. And then came A Light in the Attic, telling children to “Put something silly in the world/That ain’t been there before…” Livingston points out that Silverstein calls for a new kind of moral choices, of creation and invention. She concludes, “Shel Silverstein is not a technically sophisticated poet, but he is a magnificent poet of the spirit, and what he says in light verse and drawing to children is of such importance, such urgency that we must be grateful that more than three million copies of his books are being read. In a world that needs a generation of imaginative tinkers, may there be millions and millions more.”

That was written 36 years ago.

What happened?

Shel Silverstein tried to show kids how the world should work. Did all that time spent on standardized test prep bury his imperative?